Bureaucracies are, as unwilling as I am to admit it, a kind of necessary evil. Societies need systems in order to continue functioning, and those systems must have drones to administer the regulations so that you and I can get licenses to drive, or passports, or pay our taxes so that bureaucracies can continue to exist.
Yet, while we must have bureaucracies, a particularly loathsome element of society is the element known as the bureaucratic mind. That is, those uber-drones who not only revere the system, but love imposing their pettiness on those that they are supposed to ‘serve’, as in civil servants, who are rarely civil and never regard themselves as servants. You run into them a lot at airports these days, working either in security or customs and immigration.
Sometimes bureaucratic minds, if unfettered, can wreak uncaring havoc on the lives of decent and defenseless people. Take the case of Elton John and Baby Lev. Elton John (you’ve probably heard of him) and his partner had made a bid to adopt an excruciatingly adorable munchkin in the Ukraine named Lev. This tyke was housed in one of the factory-like orphanage institutions in that bailiwick that hold thousands like Lev, many of whom are HIV positive.
All was going well for Mr. John and his partner David Furnish – if you have spent time residing on the planet Neptune in recent years it may come as a revelation that the former Reggie Dwight is gay – until they ran up against Ukrainian bureaucracy in the form of Yuriy Pavlenko, the minister of family, youth and sports – and maybe all nite Laundromats, I understand. Mr. Pavlenko in his Eastern European fledged bureaucratic impulses (before which all lesser bureaucracies in the western world must pale) denied Mr. John the right to adopt wee Lev.
The reasons were, Elton is too old (he’s 62) and furthermore Mr. Pavlenko did not entirely approve of Mr. John’s, ahem, lifestyle. Felt two dudes just couldn’t give little Lev the right sort of environment for the betterment of his life. Yep, two multimillionaire westerners just couldn’t provide something better than a seedy orphanage’s borscht and black bread for our Lev. So, tough patooties, kid. But, someday you’ll thank us for looking after you like we did.
In truth, I am not making light of this sad story. Here we have a very rich entertainer who had chosen to share some of his wealth with a particular child for the mutual benefit of all, and he is denied because of chronology and lifestyle. He has already given greatly to other charitable concerns but wanted to have some personal fulfillment. And we know that if the aspirant ‘heterosexual’ parents were 35 and stinkin’ rich, it would have been OK, despite a rumored cocaine habit.
I mean, think of what the future would hold for this child. He would move to England and live on a lovely country estate; he would go to the absolutely best schools, and (considering Mr. John’s age) he would stand to inherit an utter fortune at a relatively early age. Not a bad gig.
I haven’t followed the story further to see if Elton and Co. are going to pursue the matter. I hope they do, but right now they have been kind of blindsided by not being Brad and Angelina. That Sucks.
So, to conclude, here’s a suggestion. Elton, you could adopt me. Albeit I’m a little older than Lev, but I’m quiet about the place, I’m clean, I really like your music – especially the early stuff you did with Bernie Taupin – and I could turn my hand to a few chores. Truly, I am quite pleasant to have around. All you would need to do in return for my unswerving loyalty would be to write me into the will.
Just a thought.
