OK, I’m a techno-clod. Otherwise I’m pretty functional

Dexter 3954-Y. That is my childhood telephone number. I have sometimes wondered if I were to ring it up if I would get myself at an earlier stage of my life. I’ve been afraid to try, just in case.

Anyway, I am going in the direction of Mr. Bell’s invention only because dear blogger friend Pinklea noted how her life-partner is not an aficionado of modern electronic technology. I share his antipathy.

I am also pondering this puzzlement due to the plethora of Christmastime ads telling me how my technology is as ancient as cuneiform writing and it is high time I did something about it.

“Looking at all those fancy-ass phones with all their wondrous features that they tell me I must have, maybe I should get a new cellphone. I mean mine doesn’t have, you know, features,” I said to Wendy the other evening after we’d been inundated by a half-dozen, obviously youth-directed bits of techno-crap.” 

“Why, so it can sit in your glove-compartment like the one you have that gets taken out once a month to be charged?” she enquired.

And, that part is true and I have mentioned it before. But, my foot-dragging in regards to mobile phone use became apparent to me the other day when a business acquaintance who was going to be late for an appointment with me wanted to call. 

“Then I realized I didn’t have your cell number,” she said.

“That’s OK, neither do I,” I replied. 

I mean, I do have it. It sits with my other telephone numbers in a computer file. Ask me what my number is, and I don’t have a clue. This is indicative of how involved I am with the whole thing. One excuse I have is that Canada has the most expensive mobile-phone rates in the western world. It’s true. Also because cell phones cause brain cancer. Maybe not true, but I choose to believe it. I’m only looking out for my health.

But, that bit of technological antipathy only relates to phones. There is another realm in which I am confessedly clueless, and that is in all other aspects of technological gadgetry. I just can’t get turned on by any of it so I remain blissfully ignorant.

I have a good desktop computer that I use for both work and fun, and I find many of its functions invaluable. As a source of information it’s brilliant. It’s brilliant and it works and I have no desire to upgrade until this one stops working. Otherwise, I live in the age of the CD player. As a music lover I have a good collection of CDs; a better collection of cassette tapes, and a brilliant collection of vinyl. But, since only about 5 bits of music that appeal to me have been produced in the last decade, I don’t want any better access than what I have.

I actually did ask Wendy what exactly was an MP3 player the other day. She explained. Why, I asked her, would somebody want one? You can only listen to so much music. I didn’t even bother to ask about i-pods and i-pads. I mean, I have a pretty good idea, though not a clue how they function or even exactly what they do.

I then asked her what was a W-eye-eye. Huh, she said at first. Then she realized I was talking about that Wii thing. She explained the pronunciation but I admit that I am still unclear on the concept as to why somebody would want an electronic exercise incentive. Why not just go for a good real-life walk, bike ride or swim?

So, if this all makes me a Luddite, then mea culpa. It all really boils down to the fact that ringing telephones unnerve me, and the rest of it follows, I guess.


8 responses to “OK, I’m a techno-clod. Otherwise I’m pretty functional

  1. Let me be the first one to congratulate you…and to admit I’m exactly the same – I don’t even have a cell phone though often thought I should get one as I have a tendency to be a bit klutzy on long bike rides… There’s not much I don’t know about computers but that’s as technical as I get and the only things plugged into it are a hand-held voice recorder, the printer and a headset. Am in the dark ages with you Ian, lol.

  2. Huzzah for Luddites!!

  3. Well, you’re better than me on the cell phone front, I don’t even own one.

    However, things have been going downhill since I bought my nano a couple of years ago. For some reason since then I’ve discovered all sorts of techno-gizmos that I really really need.

    OK, 2. A Kindle and a bridge camera.

  4. Thank you, dear friends. It’s such a relief to know I am not alone in being a techno-footdragger.

  5. We do not want a mobile ‘phone. If people want us they can ring the house…we are either there or not.
    Mr.Fly genuinely does not know his ‘phone number…he says he doesn’t ring it himself and can’t think of many people to whom he would like to give it either.

  6. I really don’t use my mobile very much (only a few people have my number), but it’s funny how quickly I got used to always having it with me. If I forget to take it with me, I feel terrible – like I’m missing an appendage! But I do get a chuckle out of all the young ones who absolutely HAVE to be “connected” 24 hours a day, every day. It never occurs to any of them to not answer a call or text. They seem to be totally addicted to being 100% available to anybody and everybody – and they seem to be totally convinced that the whole world is hanging onto their every (often boring and banal) tweet. Mobile phones have made all that possible – and to some of us, that’s a huge downsidel. So maybe you and PG are the sane ones here, Ian!

  7. No cellphone here! Maybe an MP3 player that doesn’t do what it’s told…

  8. I have the very basic cell phone which is all I need and I do need one for Meals on Wheels. As for the Wii, my favorite activity is archery and that’s not something I can just step outside and do.

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