Do the dickheads that drive oversized and overpowered Dodge Ram pickups sign a contractual obligation with the Chrysler people that state they must at all times tailgate the vehicle immediately in front of them?
I only mention this because not even an hour ago I am tootling along the road in my little Nissan sportscar going off to take Max walkies. I look in the rearview and there dominating the scene is that stupid Ram sheephead logo. A friend and I just had a conversation two days ago in which he said if somebody is tailgating you and you look in the rearview you will see that fucking ram head.
So, back to my trip. As I say, I see the sheephead and then I see the car in front of me with his left signal on indicating he is making a, yes, lefthand turn. But, there are cars coming the other way so he must wait. Good driver that I am (and I am a good driver) I stop well behind the chap turning. I look in my mirror and the fucking Ram is approaching me at a speed indicating he must believe he has 40 unimpeded miles before him. I literally brace myself because I have nowhere to veer off to avoid him I then hear a huge screech of brakes and his front end veers to the right so he can avoid hitting me. I mutter a few descriptive terms indicating my thoughts on his sexual predilections, and somewhat shaken continue on my way.
So, what is it with these morons in the huge pickups? And why do they feel they’re entitled to tailgate – especially tailgate smaller cars. Do they get erections when they watch the mucho macho Ram commercials on television that feature the guy with the growly voice late of monster truck stadium shows?
Well, according to my friend, and who am I to refute his wisdom, about those erections and the drivers of big pickups – especially Rams, yes I’m singling you out because of my recent experience – ‘the bigger the truck, the smaller the dick.’
Works for me.
If you are a Ram driver and didn’t like this blog – bite me. Just don’t tailgate me.