Now, that guy pictured I really hated, but there was one guy I think I hated more

It is said that hatred is an unhealthy emotion and holds the hater stuck in a place that prevents him or her from moving on with life. Or, as a friend of mine says: “Hating someone means you are letting that person rent space in your head that could be used for more positive thoughts and emotions.” Actually he doesn’t say it that articulately, but that is the gist of his sentiment.

And, who am I to dispute that wisdom? It’s quite correct – for the most part.

I am a believer in forgiveness. I have made amends for my own betrayals and bad behaviors towards others — like wives and lovers, for example. And I believe there is much worth in forgiveness because it is liberating.

But, I said “for the most part.” I also think in some cases that there is worth in hatred. Certain ideas and attitudes must be hated for their very essences: bigotry, intolerance, cruelty, and despicable actions directed against the defenseless like children and animals. I hate those things and cannot heed them. Much as I cannot watch a film or TV show that revolves around domestic violence. I don’t think that makes me soft, but it does make me unforgiving.

But, sometimes hatred comes down to an individual level and if the hatred is well-enough honed it becomes almost sublime in itself. There is a satisfaction in genuinely reviling somebody and wishing that person nothing but ill. Some folks just damn well deserve my hatred and I don’t want them to ever attempt to make things right. I just get too much fun out of hating their guts.

Am I wrong about that? I’d welcome your opinions. I don’t think I’m any more neurotic than the next person – which may not be saying much – but I do know I relish my revulsion to one particular person whom I’ve encountered in my life.

The person in question – and my revulsion for him arose from his behavior a number of years ago and he is not a person I interact with nowadays in any way and you won’t find him among my FB ‘friends’, for example – was just a complete shit. Now, I’ve known my share of rascals, cads, bounders, knaves, jackanapeses and lowlifes over the years. Who hasn’t? And I am a pretty tolerant guy in terms of peoples’ behavior and would ask the same from them towards me. But this guy was (and no doubt still is) a complete shit. 

I won’t elaborate on what he did, but suffice it to say it was an absolutely unwarranted act of betrayal. I’d never done anything to him yet he, unexpectedly, shanked me between the shoulder blades.

No more about what it was. It doesn’t matter. What does matter is my absolute delight in my detestation for him. It’s really pleasurable to have such a counterpoint in my life. I have a scale of my categorization of humanity starting with the good and deteriorating from there. 

The scale goes like this in descending order right down to this particular waste of oxygen:

(1) People I love (or have loved) – (2) other nice people – (3)knaves and cads – (4) bad people like felons and the like – (5) truly bad people, child molesters, spouse abusers, animal abusers Hitler, Stalin, etc. – (6) the guy I hate.

See, he exists to give me a counterpoint and also to provide an example to myself and others about how low some people can be. So, no, I won’t forgive him. It would take a great deal of joy from my life.


7 responses to “Now, that guy pictured I really hated, but there was one guy I think I hated more

  1. Hatred is an active emotion; to hate is to actively maintain an intense connection.

    The opposite of love is not hate, but disinterest.

    There must be another word for the emotion that is roused when the connection is not actively promoted, but instead avoided. Repugnance?

  2. I don’t nurse hate…but I do recognise people worthy of it.

  3. We hate some persons because we do not know them; and will not know them because we hate them. ~Charles Caleb Colton

    But then again, maybe because we do know them, we can really build up a good hatred. I think it’s good to have emotions and sometimes those emotions are negative. I don’t particularly hate anyone at the moment but I do hate actions and regimes on many an occasion. In my humble opinion there is something far worse than harbouring a hatred for someone/thing. That is being so utterly insipid/ wishy-washy that you don’t hold any opinions at all.

  4. Fly: You expressed in very few words what I was endeavoring to say. Indeed, this is a person worthy of hate, but he shall not dominate my life, and doesn’t.
    Sonya: It truly does beat being insipid or worse, bullied.
    Linda: And absolutely the opposite of love is disinterest. For a brief time I hated my ex, but I was never disinterested in her. And at the end of it, I did and do love her in certain ways.

  5. I say if it works for you, keep it up. I’m a very short term hater and it is usually reserved for total strangers, like the woman who reaches the bottom of the escalator then stops to look around. For just a few seconds or so I hate her intensely and then shortly after I’ve made my way around her, I forget all about her. Same with bad drivers and other types. Someone disappointed me greatly a few years ago and I rarely think of him but when I do, I think, “F###ing A####le” and then I forget all about him. Do I hate him? No, but I don’t ever want to see him again.

  6. I do agree that hate is an emotion that requires a huge intensity to maintain. Having said that, I can’t maintain that level of intensity. I find it too overwhelming.

  7. There is one person I’ve, if not hated, at least thoroughly disliked. Then I saw him again after almost 20 years and realized he hadn’t changed a bit. Now I just find him pathetic. Which is worse in a way.

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