It is said that hatred is an unhealthy emotion and holds the hater stuck in a place that prevents him or her from moving on with life. Or, as a friend of mine says: “Hating someone means you are letting that person rent space in your head that could be used for more positive thoughts and emotions.” Actually he doesn’t say it that articulately, but that is the gist of his sentiment.
And, who am I to dispute that wisdom? It’s quite correct – for the most part.
I am a believer in forgiveness. I have made amends for my own betrayals and bad behaviors towards others — like wives and lovers, for example. And I believe there is much worth in forgiveness because it is liberating.
But, I said “for the most part.” I also think in some cases that there is worth in hatred. Certain ideas and attitudes must be hated for their very essences: bigotry, intolerance, cruelty, and despicable actions directed against the defenseless like children and animals. I hate those things and cannot heed them. Much as I cannot watch a film or TV show that revolves around domestic violence. I don’t think that makes me soft, but it does make me unforgiving.
But, sometimes hatred comes down to an individual level and if the hatred is well-enough honed it becomes almost sublime in itself. There is a satisfaction in genuinely reviling somebody and wishing that person nothing but ill. Some folks just damn well deserve my hatred and I don’t want them to ever attempt to make things right. I just get too much fun out of hating their guts.
Am I wrong about that? I’d welcome your opinions. I don’t think I’m any more neurotic than the next person – which may not be saying much – but I do know I relish my revulsion to one particular person whom I’ve encountered in my life.
The person in question – and my revulsion for him arose from his behavior a number of years ago and he is not a person I interact with nowadays in any way and you won’t find him among my FB ‘friends’, for example – was just a complete shit. Now, I’ve known my share of rascals, cads, bounders, knaves, jackanapeses and lowlifes over the years. Who hasn’t? And I am a pretty tolerant guy in terms of peoples’ behavior and would ask the same from them towards me. But this guy was (and no doubt still is) a complete shit.
I won’t elaborate on what he did, but suffice it to say it was an absolutely unwarranted act of betrayal. I’d never done anything to him yet he, unexpectedly, shanked me between the shoulder blades.
No more about what it was. It doesn’t matter. What does matter is my absolute delight in my detestation for him. It’s really pleasurable to have such a counterpoint in my life. I have a scale of my categorization of humanity starting with the good and deteriorating from there.
The scale goes like this in descending order right down to this particular waste of oxygen:
(1) People I love (or have loved) – (2) other nice people – (3)knaves and cads – (4) bad people like felons and the like – (5) truly bad people, child molesters, spouse abusers, animal abusers Hitler, Stalin, etc. – (6) the guy I hate.
See, he exists to give me a counterpoint and also to provide an example to myself and others about how low some people can be. So, no, I won’t forgive him. It would take a great deal of joy from my life.