Come lasses and lads take leave of your dads — and all like that

 This is a repeat of a blog I wrote way back in the dark ages of 2007, and I think it still works for this day in the calendar year. I hope you enjoy it and forgive me for offering an ‘easy’ blog.

“Ne’er cast a clout till May be out.”

Which means, don’t be doffing your jackets, long trousers, sweaters and assuredly not knickers until we attain the first balmy day of June.

The only problem with that admonition is nobody up in this chilly part of the world can follow the wisdom of that other line of favorite doggerel for the beginning of this fine month:

“Hooray-hooray, it’s the first of May – outdoor screwing starts today!”

Actually, I’ve seen versions that utilize the more basic expression, but I was being polite here.

But, if the first of May is OK for the indulging in of alfresco copulation, how will we not run into conflict with the first bit of verse? Perhaps I’ll just leave you to explore the possibilities at your leisure – but don’t be shy about suggesting your solutions. You might just be helpful to all the red-blooded out there.

Anyway, after a long and arduous winter, we have finally attained May. May is, for me, a wonderful month. There I am at upper right reveling in the glorious May of last year. I am convincing myself that this one will be just as wonderful. While February is the liver of months, May is the rare, marbled prime rib with tiny little springtime potatoes on the side.

May is the gateway. May means that blessed summer will soon be upon us. Even if the air remains chilly at the month’s beginning, it will get warmer by the end. The “darling buds of May” are in fine fettle; the swallows have returned, and hope once again returns to a world ravaged by the darkness and frigidity of winter. April still fluctuates, but May brings genuine hope.

In many parts of the world May Day is held to celebrate the genuine arrival of spring, and for a girl to be crowned “Queen of the May” indicates that she is the most nubile creature of the village and indeed will soon be married and produce offspring galore as a symbol of fertility. The symbolism of the Maypole is not something I need  not even bother elaborating upon. But, after May, it comes as no surprise that June is the month of marriages.

So, for anyone randy of persuasion, this is indeed your month for self-expression. For others, it is the month in which you can gaze out the front window and quietly muse: “Goddamn lawn needs cutting again. I just mowed the *%#@ thing four days ago!”

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3 responses to “Come lasses and lads take leave of your dads — and all like that

  1. And that is why you hire someone to cut the lawn, so you can dance around the maypole unfettered.

  2. Re the knicker question…
    I saw a display of nineteenth century clothing in France…one of those odd little ‘museums’ they have in the country.
    There was a pair of ladies knickers which consisted of two discrete tubes of fabric on a waistband.

  3. Fly: I remember seeing a pair of Queen Victoria’s knickers in the Victoria and Albert and you could have housed a small army in them. And of course the reason for lack of gusset, I’ve been told was that in the days of hoop-skirts if a penny needed to be spent, the women just let it go as they stood.

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