Nowadays a simple ‘Oops!’ just won’t do at all

I once shared domestic space with a fine lady who had a little ‘control’ problem. If she were to sneeze with gusto she tended to ‘leak’, and would punctuate that unwelcome occurrence with an “Oopsie – I think I peed a little that time.”

No big deal for her. She was used to it and quite resigned to dampening her knickers, it seemed.

What she regarded as a ‘normal’ occurrence for her is now a matter however for the pharmaceutical industry to have staged a huge marketing intervention. According to them there is a huge need and it seems that 99.3 percent of women (especially, though not exclusively) suffer from this distressing happenstance once they pass a certain age.

I don’t mean in any way to be either distasteful here, or dismissive of something that the pill-pushers seem to see as an incontinence crisis of mammoth proportion. And maybe my lady of the past was just too dismissive of it. What do I know?

Nowadays, however, everyone from Whoopie to some athletic looking lady will tell you there are ways around it. Well, in fact, there always were. They are called Kegel exercises, but when the big drug boys get in they want you to get their product rather than embarking on a regime. Quick fix, I believe it is known as.

But, as with every drug concoction the information must be accompanied by the mammoth disclaimers that inform you that while your pants may stay dry and you won’t be publicly mortified any longer, you might suffer from dry mouth (along with you dry other bits), constipation, diarrhea, gastritis and all sorts of other disagreeable side effects that just might drive you to opt for Depends and let it go at that.

But that is, of course, the other side of the equation of the pharmaceutical racket. Every drug you take in has a down side, regardless of what it’s for. And if the side-effects have only been reported by one person in 10,000 users, it still must be accounted for.

In my case, for example, I take a very low-dose statin due to a s light cholesterol problem. I don’t like taking it. I don’t like taking anything at all. But I do, because I also don’t like the idea of heart attack or stroke.

Anyway, one particular statin pusher (I think it’s the one where the poor sap is berated by his bullying and ever so much wiser brother) informs that the drug will render him happy and healthy for another 3 decades at least. But the disclaimer indicates that use just might cause (in rare cases) everything from beri-beri, to yaws, to a blown out liver and complete kidney failure. I mean, the potential side-effects list goes on and on.

“Nah, Charlie. I think I’ll just risk the stroke, if it’s OK.”

I mean, in a litigation happy society it has to be done, I suppose. That’s because people don’t always realize that when they pop any kind of a pill, even simple ASA, the med is holistic. It doesn’t just kill the headache but impacts the entire body.

I think life was simpler back in the days when, if my old man had heartburn he mixed up a bit of baking soda in a glass of water, and my lady friend simply uttered “Oops!”

 

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5 responses to “Nowadays a simple ‘Oops!’ just won’t do at all

  1. I guess you just have to weigh the pros and cons. If it’s not a huge problem, oopsie is fine. When Mr. Jazz developed high blood pressure which couldn’t be controlled by diet and “lifestyle changes”, he decided to take pills – better that than dead.

    I’ve been offered pills for my anxiety attacks – which I KNOW are hormonal as they started with menopause and will most probably eventually stop. Knowing that I’d much rather breathe through them than take happy pills that will affect my brain chemistry. If I had high blood pressure though, I’d definitely want the pills.

  2. I agree that the drugs for this leakage problem can be nasty but there are also physiotherapists specially trained to help women strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, specialised gynecologists who do surgery when necessary or physios who specialise in dealing with the spine should the problem stem from compression of certain nerves that effect urinary function.

    Many women simply assume this is a matter of aging and therefore cannot be remedied beyond drugs or the Depends undergarments hawked by advertisers on late-night television.

    This isn’t true, but the problem must be thoroughly investigated and that involves speaking candidly with a specialist and physiotherapist which many women are reluctant to do because of embarrassment.

  3. Mr Fly is currently dosing himself with the dog’s steroid tablets having worked out that the side effects on this drug are less lethal than the side effects of what his specialist in France prescribed.
    He reckons he can read the label on the packet as well as the specialist.

  4. I am very happy not to have that particular problem, but I also believe that the pharmaceutical industry would make yawning and blinking major medical issues necessitating their expensive medications, if they could.

  5. That one with the “dry mouth” always made me laugh. Because wouldn’t that make you drink more liquids?

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