I’m not saying there’s nothing out there, I just don’t believe there’s anything out there

A recent national poll in Canada showed that while assorted residents throughout this vast country are firm in their beliefs that extraterrestrial ‘aliens’ are already here and doing their dirty deeds with all and sundry, nowhere was the belief more pronounced than in my part — British Columbia.

Could this have something to do with BC being the pot capital of Canada, and that the infamous BC Bud approaches near lethal levels of THC? Or, is it just that we’re weirder than the rest of the country? Anyway, here is how the poll played out:

78% of Canadians believe in the existence of life elsewhere in the universe.
More than 52% believe that some UFOs are alien spacecraft.
Only 12% of people who have seen UFOs actually report their sightings.
More than 57% of Canadians believe there is a military or government cover-up regarding the existence of UFOs.
Older Canadians tend not to believe in UFOs or cover-ups.
Younger Canadian adults are more likely to believe in the existence of extraterrestrial life.

I’m afraid I have to cast my lot with those geezers who tend not to believe in UFOs or cover-ups. Not that I’m ‘old’, y’unnerstand, for I’m very young at heart, but I have to confess that I am, at the very least, skeptical about the matter.

Ever notice how UFO sightings always seem to take place before a couple of good ole boys sharing a jug on a riverbank in Moose Groin, Saskatchewan, or Tuskalooskawatchi Crossing, Mississippi, rather than setting down in Times Square, Washington, DC or some other place that you think might entice ET leaders.

Then, of course, the aliens themselves either go into people’s bedrooms and sexually interfere with them, or take these same people on the mothership, and again sexually interfere with them. I mean, why would somebody who traveled light years across space be all that damn interested in our plumbing? Wouldn’t our brains, such as they are, be more to the point in terms of scientific interest? And why are aliens so damn horny?

Now, I say all of this, despite the fact that I think Close Encounters of the Third Kind is a terrific movie, and despite the fact I’m a big fan of Dr. Who (well, of the yummy Rose, to be honest) and despite the fact ‘I have actually seen a UFO!’Really, I have seen one, but I still don’t really believe in them. I am a literalist about the abbreviation UFO. It stands for ‘Unidentified Flying Object’. That’s all, a thing that flies that cannot be identified in conventional terms. It doesn’t mean it’s some intergalactic starship chock-a-block with randy aliens looking for skirt.

At the time it happened my former wife and I were camping with friends on a little island near here. This was about 25 years ago. It was a beautiful and starry night, and the four of us were lying on the beach, drinking beer (probably way too much, but we were young and foolish then) and marveling at the wondrous sky. Then we saw it. All four of us saw it. A light moved in a straight line across the sky. A plane or satellite, we thought, even though it was moving much more rapidly than the average aircraft. Then, about half way across the expanse of sky, it zigged rapidly to the right. There was no glide into the zig, it just went immediately to the right, and then beyond our field of vision. We were fascinated, I must confess. Was it a UFO? Well, it was certainly ‘unidentified’, was indeed ‘flying’ and may or may not have been an ‘object.’

That considered, there is also a mathematical consideration in all of this. We are an inhabited planet in the universe. The universe is infinite. Ergo, there must be an infinite number of planets that are also inhabited by some sort of creature. Surely we’re not so important that we are ‘it.’ Makes sense, and the late Carl Sagan bought into that idea.

But, deep in my heart of hearts, I still don’t really believe in them. Do you?



7 responses to “I’m not saying there’s nothing out there, I just don’t believe there’s anything out there

  1. I have never seen a UFO, nor do I believe that if aliens are finding our little planet interesting enough to take a break on, they’re going around giving colonoscopies and such. As you say, if they were wanting to probe, it seems more likely they’d probe our brains. Unless of course they have their brains up their asses, and figure we do too and now figure we have none. But I digress.

    On the other hand, seeing the sheer size of the universe and the number of solar systems therein and the number of planets in said solar systems, it seems illogical to believe that our planet is the only one with the necessary chemicals to spark life. And that’s just carbon based life forms; maybe there are ammonia based life forms or whatever. At any rate, I think there has to be something out there, in some form, but until I wake up doing the nasty with a three headed little green man, I remain ever the skeptic…

  2. Isn’t the belief that alien lifeforces want to interract with us just so they can screw us about the height of human arrogance? Otherwise, I’ll accept the assertion by Sagan a few years ago that held if the universe is infinite, and we are an inhabited planet, doesn’t it compute that there should be an infinite number of inhabited planets. But, nowhere near our galaxy in all likelihood.

  3. Is there really a place called Moose Groin in Saskatchewan? I subscribe to the theory that there must be life beyond our sole planet because it just doesn’t seem likely that we would be the only ones.

    I have also seen something similar to what you described, a brightly-lighted airborne vehicle which sharply zigzagged several times on a calm night, and I hadn’t been drinking or drugging. I saw it on more than one occasion while living in my home state of New York, and something like it once in Minnesota. I do not fear aliens or believe they are trying to mess with us in any way – if they are doing anything purposeful, it is probably just gathering information on us. We may be a relatively primitive life force, for all we know, which could be humbling to many earthlings.

  4. Hmm. 🙂

    I have a picture of a disc-shaped object in the sky over Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. Was on vacation and was taking the usual pics of the setting sun, four shots in a row. In the third one is the mystery object, quite clearly outlined…

    Was in FL a year ago and watched anywhere between four and nine lights assemble and reassemble over the Gulf of Mexico in the space of about 20 minutes. I thought I’d have a heart attack. They all left at once at a speed I can’t begin to describe…

    There is some very interesting footage from Mexico City from just a few years back, broad daylight, many things in the sky. EVERYone had a camera, everyone was shooting, including a news crew. What were those things? I’ve seen quite a bit of it over the last few years and it’s intriguing.

    Anything up there? Maybe. Let’s hope if there is, however, that they treat us better than the specimens we humans come across…


    • Susan, no such place other than in my warped mind. There is a Moose Jaw, however. And I agree it is intriguing. I guess I will clarify by saying that I regard that they have actually come a-callin’ and taking liberties with us. Oh won’t deny that they might not have scouted from above, but I am even wary of that possibility.

  5. And, Pearl. Much the same message that I passed Susan’s way. Though I am intrigued by your encounters, as I was with hers. And, as I suggest, I have had my own. It is a puzzlement.

  6. My boyfriend likes to watch the UFO/alien conspiracy tv shows, however I am certainly a skeptic. Don’t you think it’s interesting that all of the evidence (video/pictures) is of the absolute worst quality? How is it that will all the smart phones and digital video cameras that fit neatly in your pocket, the best quality picture anyone can get looks like it was taken decades ago? They are so grainy you cant really see anything at all. Unidentified flying object? Perhaps. Alien invaders? I highly doubt it.

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