While I’m not feeling particularly curmudgeonly today, I still felt it behooved me to hold forth in highly-opinionated manner on a particular topic. If my criticism of a certain fashion mode applies to you, and you are a person I think well of otherwise, then please disregard it and move on to something else to divert your time.
In my esteem there are only four reasons for a man to be hairless:
- He actually is hairless, as in bald. Genetics. What are you gonna do? My dad was in baldness denial all his life, and I believe personally that he invented the comb-over long before Trump’s day.
- He has been undergoing chemotherapy. That’s a tough one and I will certainly only extend huge sympathy.
- He suffers from alopecia (complete hair loss). Another of those things that happens to some.
- He is Yul Brynner or Telly Savalas. Were you in The King and I or on Kojak? If not, cut it out, damn it.
Otherwise, God gave you hair. Live with it. This particular mini-rant is concerned with the vogue of the past few years for males – especially of a certain youthful to middle-aged grouping, but not exclusively confined to that demographic – to sheer off their God-given follicles. Sorry, but I detest the look and immediately form a judgment about a shaven headed dude approaching me in a dark side-street or alleyway.
Today, in my esteem, the only people who have shaved heads are the aforementioned convicts, drug dealers and pimps. Anybody who doesn’t fall into those categories is a ‘wannabe’. It’s kind of like tattoos. Traditionally the only people sporting tats were sailors, convicts and Maoris. Not oddly at all, guys with shaved heads also often are adorned in tattoos.
So, what is this ‘thug chic’ that prevails? Why would somebody want to type themselves in a fashion sense as an antisocial individual? I mean, adolescents always want to shock with their dress and style. That’s one of the tiresome facets of being an adolescent. But, if you haven’t grown out of teenage ways by, say, age 22 then you are dealing with arrested development and should be getting some therapy.
But, aside from the antisocial menace message a shaved head gives, it is also esthetically unappealing. For the same reason most of us should wear clothing much of the time, we have a head covering of hair to hide lumps, bumps, scars and other bits of disagreeability that a shaven head exposes.
Of course, I am very happy that I have been allowed by genetics or whatever to keep a full head of hair throughout, so I can afford to be smug about this.