I didn’t want them to but the $%#&& government ignored my wishes and did away with the penny, anyway. I mean, I didn’t actually inform the $%#&& government of my displeasure at the prospect but surely the $%#%% government must have figured out this would not be a popular decision – with me, anyway.
But that’s it, and without so much as a by-your-leave the bastards eradicated a big chunk of our numismatic heritage all in the name of something or other.
I mean, yeah, the penny can be kind of a pain-in-the-ass but so is Whoopie Goldberg and you don’t see them doing away with her.
And, for heaven’s sake, the penny is a significant part of our culture.
– A penny saved is a penny earned.
– In for a penny, in for a pound.
– Save your pennies and the pounds take care of themselves.
– And nice English ladies in want of the loo go and spend a penny.
But, in the name of wanton profligacy with our attempts at frugality, not to mention the desire of English ladies to keep their knickers dry, the penny is to be gone.
Have they considered for an instant what is to be the fate of the Penny Loafer? Are they now to become Nickel Loafers? Were the Bass-Weejun folk consulted about this?
I know that pennies had become irksome to those who weren’t emotionally connected with this smallest and least significant item of coinage but they were still a part of our culture. It has been said for a long time that pennies cost more to manufacture than they were actually worth. But that argument can be applied to a lot of things. Do you really think the raw materials that went into your computer compare with what you paid for it? Do you really think that any Adam Sandler film is worth a fraction of what it cost to make?
I grew up in an age when a penny had actual value, so it has nostalgic flavor for me. Three jawbreakers cost a mere penny. When I was very young a Coke was 6-cents. A nickel and, that’s right, a penny.
And what of Americans crossing the border into Canada with all those Lincoln-heads. Are they going to be forced to abandon them before they’re allowed in? “Sorry, folks, but we don’t want your &**% copper in our country.”
Meanwhile, will the name Penny for little girls fully lose favor? Should the Beatles song Penny Lane be retitled for future generations in case they don’t understand why a street would have such an unfamiliar name?
O brave new world, what hath God wrought? No longer will it rain pennies from heaven, obviously. At least not in the Great White North.