It seems that the little birdies pick up bits of gum that the unpleasant discard on sidewalks and footpaths, thinking this rubbish is food. And, well, when they consume same it ‘gums’ up their innards and they die. Similar thing to sea turtles consuming plastic bags thinking they’re jellyfish.
And speaking of discarded gum, some folks get testy and unpleasant about jettisoned cigarette buts on walkways – and so they should – but I find gum worse. It sticks to one’s shoes and then one tracks it in over that exquisite Persian rug one doesn’t own.
Personally, I think access to and subsequent consumption of gum should be as restricted as is smoking in this age of smugly special people who would judge others mercilessly. For, if you are a gum-chewer (and I do have friends that are) I think your habit is displeasing.
Even more displeasing if you are a gum-snapper.
And why should anybody over the age of – oh I don’t know, maybe 15 – want to chew gum? Especially want to chew gum in public. Perhaps gum chewing should be relegated to the status of other very private practices like going to the toilet or masturbation.
“In her room, I think.”
“What’s she doing?”
“Probably chewing gum.”
“Well, tell her to cut it out. If she keeps it up she’s gonna go blind.”
What was the predominant personal habit of the southern redneck sheriff brilliantly played by Rod Steiger in the classic In the Heat of the Night? Exactly, chewing gum. Speaks volumes.
In the context of chewing gum, I can only ask, what is the motivation behind the horrible gum advertising you see on television these days in which people are being smacked, beaten up, having violent orgasmic sequences in their lives and so forth? They’re almost as offensive as those toilet paper ads in which a bunch of women bear testament as to how their chosen brand wipes their bums ‘cleaner.’ Ew. Are there really people who have such conversations? Are they allowed to vote or breed?
I mean, this is chewing gum, for heaven’s sake. What happened to plain old Juicy Fruit, Dentyne or Chiclets? Nothing earth-shattering about them. You chewed for a while. They lost their flavor. You chewed another piece. Mastery of gum chewing came pretty quickly in life. As for my personal bias I always favored Chiclets because you got both candy and gum in one confection.
So, yes, I chewed gum as a kid. And then I grew out of it. I guess that’s the reason for the repulsive advertising. I reckon a lot of us grew out of it. And thst is, to me, a good thing.
But, if you do chew gum, please mind how you discard it. Stick a spent piece behind your ear, or in your cleavage, take it home and dispose of it properly.
This has been a pubic service announcement.