Sailing down to the Islands isn’t the worst way to spend some time

As of Friday we’re outta here for a couple of weeks as we embark on a sea cruise from Vancouver to the Hawaiian Islands. (See us in the picture above).

I’m not sure quite what to expect. I was on a cruise way back in 1990. It was only four days duration along the west coast of Mexico and frankly I enjoyed it enough that I was sorry when the trip was over. Added to which I had come down with a crappy cold and just wanted to curl up in the stateroom bunk rather than contend with the wretched atmospheric quality of LA, whence we were disembarking.

This time we disembark at Honolulu after a number of days exploring Maui, the Big Island and Kauai. I know I’ve been there many times before, but not by ship.

This trip is considerably longer in duration this time and the ship is signic larger than that earlier one. Large enough I suspect to accommodate the population of a mid-sized community.

So, what will such a lengthy sea cruise be like? I have no preconceptions. Since we’ll be sailing into tropical waters I expect the iceberg threat is minimal so no chance to steam up the windows of a vintage Citroen with Kate Winslet in steerage. Drat.

I doubt if there is steerage on cruises. Or, maybe there is and that’s where we are. Does that mean we’ll have to dance polkas with eastern Europeans and listen to accordion music?

And I doubt to that there still exists the ritual morning floggings on the poop deck. Exactly what is a ‘poop deck’ anyway? Sounds unseemly. And in that context, no doubt keelhaulings are long since gone. Pity in a way. Always wanted to see how they did it.

I gather the object of modern cruises is just that, the cruise. Plus the other stuff. Most people say you end up eating yourself senseless and I notice our ship has about 11,000 dining options. Other people, I gather, drink themselves loopy. I no longer imbibe so I suspect I’ll only have the privilege of watching the show.

Will there be a Poirot type murder in one of the staterooms? That would be diverting.

I believe there is entertainment of various sorts. What are Leslie Uggams and John Byner up to these days? Well, they just might be on our ship.

And then there is the Captain’s Table thing? I mean, WTF is that all about? It’s not exactly as if the captain drives the ship any more:

“Ahar, Jim ‘Arkins, hoist the mizzenmast and splice the mainbrace and hand me the wheel, ahar.”

Not sure what captains do these days. If they’re coked up Italian skippers they seem to run up on rocks in vain attempts to impress an onshore girlfriend. But, evidently if you go to the captain’s dinner you are expected to dress appropriately. Why? Are the guests trying to impress him? Does he really care? If that’s what’s important to him, perhaps he doesn’t have enough to do.

“Guy at Table 13B had an open collar. I expect to see him in my wardroom at 8 bells to give him a dressing down and threaten him with the brig if it happens again!”

Otherwise, once that’s over with we’ll just have to bide our time wandering around, swimming, playing shuffleboard, losing quantities of money in the casino and I’ll be trying to make time with Leslie Uggams in her off hours since she’s always been a secret fantasy of mine.

I’ll fill you in when we’re back.




15 responses to “Sailing down to the Islands isn’t the worst way to spend some time

  1. Well, -that- was entertaining. 😀 Poor Jim, tho’… A mizzenmast is much heavier than a mizzensail (but not as much as the main mast), splicing the mainbrace might give him the boozy courage to try, but… puh-leez! “…hand me the wheel…”?!? 1) It’s the helm. 1) You don’t hand it over!

    Enjoy the journey! I’m sure you’ll find many stories aboard!

    • So, don’t put me at the helm of your boat, I guess, Miss Linda. I hope I do find some good stories whilst away. Nice to see you here. But, basically nice to see you anywhere I get the chance to.

  2. Cruises are awesome! I’ve only ever done the Alaska one, but I loved it and can’t wait to go on another one (Mediterranean and Caribbean are both at the top of my wishlist). You’ll have fun on the ship – and hey, you’re going back to Hawaii! How great is that?! Enjoy!

    • I’ll let you know all about it when I get back. I think a Mediterranean cruise would be amazing, too. The other one we want to do is a European river cruise. That is on our BL.

  3. The cruise from Hawaii to Vancouver remains my favourite, having done quite a number with my mother. Enjoy!
    I found that walking senseless laps around the top deck in the early morning helped my conscience, if not my waistline. There is food, food aplenty! Again enjoy!!

    • Nice to read your comment about the Hawaii cruise. We have to fly back, unfortunately, but the trip down should be great, I think. Yes, probably a lot of deck walking would be in order.

  4. Have a great time…and don’t forget to salute the quarterdeck….

  5. Enjoy your trip and give us some updates, photos and stuff! 🙂

  6. Can’t wait to hear all about it. You’ll have a most wonderful time.

  7. Ooooo! You must promise us pictures. You simply must.

  8. I have never been on a cruise in my life, but I have a sister who lives for them and is currently on one to Alaska. She always remarks about the incredible food.

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