So, what I am wrestling with at the moment – aside from all those baser instincts that I kind of enjoy containing to wrestle with, just to see who wins – is whether or not I want to keep running my blog in the new year.
As it is, I’ve been making comment blogwise for about eight years now and can honestly say I have loved the process.
Prior to that I was a newspaper columnist and that goes back to the late 1970s – sorry to admit that timeframe and I do think I’m remarkably well-preserved – and I have lived and breathed my ‘words’ and thoughts throughout. And, frankly, I’ve loved every semicolon of the process of setting some thoughts in place. And, more importantly, offering some thoughts that others might respond to either with delight, arousal (it can happen and it did and I’ll say no more), or sheer nausea.
After I left the paper and no longer had that regular column I latched onto the concept of blogging. Not only could I continue to write, I could interact with folks at a much more direct level.
I must preface all of this – and nothing like injecting a preface when you are well into a thought – by saying that ‘writing’ is what I do. It is as vital to me as breathing, eating, sleeping, peeing and making love once in a while – well, depend on how badly I have to pee, of course. If I am not writing I get fretful. I actually suffer a sort of withdrawal. That’s why this question is so important to me.
So, I got me my little blog and what a trip. I could express myself without feat of censorship, and so I did. The added bonus was that I met a lot of wonderful people along the way. Some of them I have interacted with at a personal level, and others I would like to someday. Those whom I haven’t met have become email friends and I know I’d like them. Some indeed I like so much I virtually adore and would like to have a family with them if I weren’t already quite happily connected in that realm.
The majority of my blogger connections are female. This wasn’t by design, it just happened and I am not complaining for a second. I think this is probably because females are more comfortable with – and better at, I’ll concede – writing about the minutiae of life with whimsy and honesty. Some of my contacts can actually make me scream with their humor or wince with their honesty.
At the same time, I have been through personal pain with my blogger contacts, through loss, and even through the death of a particular favorite of mine.
My blog people are very much part of who I am.
Yet, times change and processes change. Whereas a blog might once have invited commentary by 15, 20 or more people, the old traffic has diminished a lot. Sometimes just one or two comments, sometimes none. That’s OK. I write for ‘me’ and hope somebody else gets something out of it. Yeah, there is a little ego involved. I’d be less than honest if I suggested otherwise. But, my ego involvement isn’t my motivation for writing. I know there are many others who read me who also don’t make comment. I read blogs but leave no comment, so I cannot be a hypocrite about the matter. And there are other bloggers whom I really like and I just don’t get around to visiting very often.
So, my debate now is whether or not to keep it all up in the new year or, like some other things in my life, booze, overeating, heavy smoking, a couple of marriages, just lay it to rest.
If I were to do that, how best to approach it? Rigorous cold turkey? Or gradually easing-off? Or just continuing with it?
I have not yet reached a conclusion.