So, we’re quietly and ever-so-placidly walking along a street near our home, Wendy, Max and I, when a woman approaches on the sidewalk and makes a big loop onto the roadway and then looks at us disdainfully and speaks:
“He’s not on a leash,” she says. “Dogs are supposed to be leashed!”
Silly bint (I thought of another word that ends in ‘nt’ but am too polite to use it. All I thought was, since when are dogs supposed to be leashed when they’re well-behaved and Max in now way violated her space in a manner resembling how she violated ours by suggesting we shouldn’t live our lives in the way we choose.
I simply smiled and suggested sotto voce that she should have sexual intercourse with herself. I didn’t say it very loudly, though I was tempted, perhaps as a service to somebody who, with her attitudes, probably doesn’t have too many people seeking carnal congress with an individual with such an attitude.
Anyway, my conclusions about the matter are: a) she is a dog-hater. She is one of those sorts who for some reason espy mounds of dog poop in every public place, even though we rarely see it and always fastidiously pick up after our charge. Anyone who has ever walked with me knows this to be true. And in that, she is probably an animal-hater in general. And b) she is a control-freak, deeply in love with rules and regulations and who suffers angst because there aren’t enough rules and worse, people like us don’t always obey them when we know we are doing no harm at all.
I suspect most strongly the control-freak. You know who they are. They seek more and more rules and restrictions on our lives. These are the people who destroyed playground fun for kids, who balk at off-leash dog parks, and who would like to see the handful of remaining smokers executed. At their least harmful these people are merely tiresome killjoys like the prude pictured with this who is terrified that somebody might be having fun, and at the extreme end are the thuggish nazi and fascist sorts who, if you don’t obey the rules, will have you rounded up and sent to the camp.
Now, a word about dogs on leash. We worship at the shrine of Cesar Milan and share his view, which boils down to the fact that an off-leash dog is invariably better behaved and far, far less likely to be aggressive. We leash Max on city streets due to our own traffic fears, and we leash him in public spaces where lots of people abound. And we leash him if a dog-owner in the vicinity asks us to due to the aggressive nature of their own canine. Otherwise, he is naked of leash and those who know him know he’s one of the best-behaved dogs on the planet.
So, and of course respectfully, up yours, lady.