We rented a DVD the other day. We enjoyed it thoroughly. It was called Quartet. We enjoyed it because it was a grown-up movie for a grown-up audience. It also showed us why so few grown-up movies are made these days. That’s because real grown-ups don’t go to movies any more. They rent DVDs or they stream stuff from TV.
That’s because going to a movie in a cinema has become a ridiculously overpriced and nasty experience. You know, the sort of thing kids would like. And that’s why all the movies today involve certain elements that are deemed to be entertaining:
– mass drunkenness, which is deemed to be uproariously funny. And if it involves a lot of puking it’s deemed to be even funnier.
– Lots of sex, lots of tits, lots of blowjobs.
– Zombies-zombies-zombies (which seem to have replaced vampires-vampires-vampires)
– Assorted superheroes.
– Lots of comic books made into movies.
– Lots of scatology. Pooping as an entertainment mode. Who knew?
Oh, there’s more. Lots more reasons why DVDs are kind of nice. Such as, with a DVD I can choose a film that revolves around professionals that I know. Quartet boasted such luminaries as Maggie Smith, Tom Courtenay, Billy Connolly, Pauline Collins, and others. I know those people. Furthermore, the film was directed by Dustin “you’re trying to seduce me, Mrs. Robinson” Hoffman. Virtually a lifetime of my moviegoing in one dandy little flick.
On the other hand, on the front cover of the latest Vanity Fair there is somebody called Channing Tatum. I don’t know what a Channing Tatum is, and I’m afraid the oeuvre of somebody I’d never heard of before entirely escapes me.
But Quartet with Tom Courtenay, for example. He was in Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner and Billy Liar. Two of my icon movies from days of forever ago. And Pauline Collins who was in the original Upstairs Downstairs I also saw on London’s West End stage years ago in Rattle of a Simple Man in which she co-starred with husband John Alderton. See, I know about those people. Channing Tatum? Meh.
Sometimes I can be sucked into thinking I’m current because I am quite familiar with the work of Johnny Depp, for example, and admire what he used to do before he got stuck into that lucrative Pirates rubbish. Johnny Depp. He’s young. Right? I just read that he turned 50 the other day.
Anyway, Quartet gets a nod from me. The story involves not just grown ups but senior grownups in their declining years. Don’t get it wrong, however, it’s uplifting, inspiring at moments, and even surprisingly funny as when Maggie Smith utters “Fuck you” to her estranged husband.
And, if you fancy the geezer theme you might want to give a try to The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. Loved that one, too.