Finding nuptial bliss in a brave new electronic world


Two things:

1)     A lot of couples are linking up on line these days and;

2)     The divorce rate is huge, making plenty of lawyers rich and leaving a lot of unhappy people in their wake, asking themselves a) “Where did I go wrong?” and b) “Who am I going to ‘do’ now? It’s not so easy meeting people.”

But, that last plaintive whine leads us back to thing one. With the wonders of the Internet and e-mail it’s dead easy to not only meet nice people, but also people who might be prepared to ‘do’, or at least meet you. Don’t be greedy.

According to stats on-line dating and ensuing relationships are becoming the norm. Rather than cruising bars, or attending dreary church socials the unattached have latched onto the wonders of technology. Consequently, couples-linking services are thriving.

And why not? The world is your oyster and is abundant with lovely young Russian or Filipina potential émigrés who want nothing but all your wealth and a chance to get passport status. But seriously, it’s not as craven as all that. There are some very nice potentially attachable people out there in the cyber universe. And despite the naysayers who decry this, I know I have met some very nice people as a blogger. And blogger contacts whom I’ve met in real life have turned out to be pretty true to the images they’ve conveyed of themselves. Or else they’re superlative liars.

In terms of romantic connections (and I have had the experience, before my current domestic status, be assured) I can speak from a bit of personal knowledge. I once had a relationship with a quite wonderful, attractive and ‘lively’ woman I met on line. The downside of our relationship was that she lived very far away and ultimately it wouldn’t have worked. If she’d lived closer the tale might have had a different resolution.

Anyway, I found there were advantages to meeting a person in such a manner. The most important one is that it cuts out any preliminary awkwardness of first dates and all that palaver. Because your on-line relationship has gotten increasingly intense and candid (and sometimes very, very candid) then by the time you meet you’re pretty much at third base just for starters. No blushing shyness will ensue. Or so I found. “Hi, you must be Suzy. Lets go to bed, since God knows we’ve written about what it’ll be like it so often.”

(I don’t even want to work in the Skype factor since impressionable minors may be reading this.)

Anyway, I was thinking that as this concept of connectedness unfolds it might ultimately be quite possible for couples to go through an entire relationship and perhaps even a marriage and sadly and ultimate divorce without every having actually physically met.

I think it would go like this:

–         Barney and Babette (just her FB name, her real name is Bertha) become friends on Facebook.

–         They josh around for a while and explore interests in common.

–         As they explore their commonality they start to private message and become more frank.

–         Then emailing encroaches and major frankness ensues. Frankness and torridness.

–         They move to Skype and nothing is illusionary any longer and they are unfettered about their remote sexual connection.

–         They fall in love and know they cannot live without their connection.

–         They seek out an on-line padre and fill out the appropriate forms.

–         They are now married, even though they’ve never met and they haven’t met because they live thousands of miles apart. At the same time, and thanks to Skype, all the ‘benefits’ (albeit solo) are taking place.

–         This may go on for a few years. But, eventually it begins to pale, or one or the other of them meets a ‘real’ person who takes coffee at the same joint or who lives across the hall.

–         OK. Sadly the relationship is doomed and they seek an on-line divorce and are granted it.

Welcome to a brave new world where nobody needs to be lonely.




6 responses to “Finding nuptial bliss in a brave new electronic world

  1. I have actually known people, men and women, who didn’t want to meet the person they were chatting with because the online relationship was meeting the needs. On one hand, I almost get that, because I have dear dear friends whom I have never met. On the other hand, as important as friendships are, I want more from my intimate partner.

  2. I recently lost my husband after 37 years of marriage and I have no desire to seek another relationship. The few times I have attempted “chatting” the men only seem to want to have “chat sex.” Sorry but that is not for me. If I EVER thought of starting another relationship at this late date in my life (61) I would want someone who enjoys photography, walks, nature, travel, and the simple things in life. I cannot see having any online relationship.

    • Quite reasonable demands for a life partner, Rose. As I said, I did have an online relationship once and when it became real-time I liked it and her very much. Not destined to be, but often even conventional relationships aren’t.

  3. I know at least three happy real life couples who met online. In one of these couples one party even relocated to another country (no Asians or Russians involved). And these are just people in my immediate environment. I think it’s as good a way as any to meet people, and if I were looking I wouldn’t hesitate to try. I’m sure there are no more duds online than there are in bars or regular dating services.

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