Don’t bring the tots along if you’re going for a snootful


It is a good thing we have politicians because in their desperate scrambles for votes they are inclined to come up with ideas that make a lot of the rest of us feel real smart when we ask ourselves: What in hell was he/she thinking of?

A short while ago the premier of this province, Ms. Christy Clark, in a desperate attempt to attract her booze-loving constituents, suggested that tiny tots should be invited into saloons with Mom and Dad while they either get gassed up or sip a polite cocktail.

pubNow, I’m not a prude about this and most children are fully aware if their elders like to indulge in a belt or two. But kids in a bar? No, for heaven’s sake. People generally nip down to their local to get away from the domestic scene, or else they would drink at home where it’s less expensive and they don’t need to worry about driving over the limit. If you plan to get loaded, do it at home so that you don’t go out on the road and risk ‘my’ life.

Children in Adult Venues: I adore children. Honestly I do and one of my regrets in life is that I had none. That said, I get persistently exasperated by parents who feel that any venue is just fine for their toddlers and that all adults present should be as charmed by their progeny as are they. Progeny that are largely ignored as they wander noisily about the premises irritating adult patrons and picking up things that they have no business touching. Leave them at home or go to Mickey-D’s which is more child-friendly than my coffee joint. Otherwise a brat is a brat is a brat and I don’t like brats.

I wrote the foregoing paragraph a couple of years ago in reference to kids in coffee outlets. It surely applies to booze joints. I am sorry, but these are places in which adults, for good or for bad, indulge themselves and generally people go there to get away from children – and certainly away from other people’s children.

Are the patrons of the pubs affected to be restricted in their language and behaviors, both of which aren’t always of the most commendable, especially as an evening of tippling progresses? Perhaps bars should consider family centres within the saloon with, oh I don’t know, maybe big bins with plastic balls like in Ikea stores.  You know, segregate the tots from the topers.

There are all sorts of lovely family-type ventures that can be indulged in for the sake of solidarity in the  domestic unit. You know, like hikes, picnics, days at the beach, amusement parks – and just maybe not booze venues.

In other words, there is a legitimacy to restricting juvenile access to various areas. Part of that legitimacy is due to respecting what tiny bits of innocence modern children still possess, and the other part of it is respecting the maturity of grown-ups in situations that would allow them to do stuff kids can’t.

It’s akin to those who advocate lowering the voting age to a degree that gets nonsensical. I am old fashioned enough to believe that a person has to ‘earn’ certain rights, and one facet of that earning is maturity. God knows many adult voters are sappy enough as it is with their choices but I like to think that the more mature one is that perhaps the more reasoned the choices will be.

And one of my reasoned choices would be to keep kids the hell away from neighborhood booze joints.


6 responses to “Don’t bring the tots along if you’re going for a snootful

  1. Kids at the bar. Oh yeah, that’ll be fun for the rest of us!

  2. I mean the whole idea is fucking braindead at so many levels.

  3. From the way I remember country pubs the topers would be the first in the bins with the balls, just as on the cross channel ferries…

  4. Hadn’t considered that possibility, Helen.

  5. Well as the mom of a two year old, and as a person who likes to have a nice cold beer now and again, I must say…. bravo! There is no need for me to go to a bar to have my beer, I don’t drink and drive, and I certainly don’t see anything good a bar might have to offer my toddler. An education perhaps, but not one I want him learning before his time. That time being when he is old enough to belly up to the bar and have a drink himself.

    • It seems we’re totally on the same page about this issue, Candace. Indeed, what would a bar have to offer any child except maybe to see some adults at their worst.

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