I don’t have latent Husky in me. I loathe the stuff. It’s wet, it’s cold, it’s perilous, it impedes my passage either on foot or in a vehicle, it’s dangerous, it’s inconvenient, and it’s probably a few dozen other negative things.
Myth holds that Eskimos have over a hundred words for snow. That myth is untrue. I believe their term (which escapes me) translates to “nasty cold shit that makes us wonder why we live here”.
Kids, it is widely believed, love snow. They long for it and are thrilled when it manifests. Mainly that is because a goodly snowfall offers portents of a cherished Snow Day.
I was a strange child – possibly in a lot of ways, but shall not go there now – in that I hated snow. Oh, I didn’t mind it when it first fell. I could even be a bit excited about prospects of sleigh riding and such. But, I was impatient about it. I didn’t want it to last for very long.
I remember vividly lying in bed at about age five in a winter in which there were a couple of feet of snow on the ground and the snow had been with us for seemingly ever in those pre-climate shift days. So, I am lying in bed and I am hoping that during the night some force of he nether world – elf, gremlin, fairy, witch – will come down and magically lift all the snow away.
I know I have waxed tiresomely in the past about favoring warm weather and warm climates, but it is true. I live in the wrong part of the world, I suspect. I have a friend in Palm Springs right now, and a couple more in Central America. Now, I may love these people but I also resent the hell out of them for being where I should be.
Some people like winter and snow because they favor winter activities like skiing, snowboarding, skating and hockey, etc. I haven’t skied since I was in my teens and I thoroughly disliked the experience and all I was left with was sitting in a crappy little shelter with a wet ass and longing to go home. Skating I am actually pretty good at and I like it. But rare are chances of outdoor skating any longer – see climate change. Sleigh-riding. Well, I don’t have a sleigh and am not about to get one at this stage of my life.
All I can think is the damn winter Olympics are over and spring should therefore be here.
Sorry Max, but you don’t have to go out and shovel the driveway right about now.