Time’s winged chariot do go scurrying by, or, hey ma, where did it all go?


It’s called latchkey urgency and it is that dire situation in which you have arrived at your door in a state of urinary extremis and fear you are going to utterly humiliate yourself before you get the damn door unlocked.

Hasn’t happened yet. Sincerely hope it never does. But, you never know. Just one of those little happenstances that transpire as the years go racing by. And it ties in directly with planning your route for an outing in town making certain you know where available restrooms are to be found just in case you have foolishly decided to stop for a coffee on your outing.

Ian and MaI’m not all that venerable yet but I am at the stage of my life in which I wonder what actual old-age will look like for me. It doesn’t frighten me particularly, but I do know what  I would like to see transpire as life persists in screaming along like an express train. Yes, I am old enough to remember when there were express trains so I chose that as my metaphor.

And as age creeps up I harken to the wisdom of Jasper Friendlybear in the late lamented Dead Dog Cafe Comedy Hour from CBC Radio when CBC Radio was still good, and that bit of wisdom was “Watch for the signs.”

So, I find myself watching for the signs a lot these days.

– Mental Acumen:  I am still able most times to complete Sunday’s NYT Crossword by Monday at the latest, so that’s a good thing. Such mental calisthenics, they say, are good for keeping the ‘leetle grey cells’ in tune.

– Physical Stuff:  While I may not be the fittest guy on the planet, I do have a big and energetic dog so I get my exercise faithfully. He leaves me no choice. Otherwise, the trip is interesting as in being left with such questions as: “Why does that hurt?” for something tends to hurt for no apparent reason. Is it an ominous thing? Could be. But, if after a couple of days you knee, say, doesn’t hurt any longer, it’s probably not ominous. And then the discomfort can move on to another part of the body. Otherwise, when I awaken in the morning I count that as an initially good sign. Yep. Still here. Phew.

– Bad Habits:  I quit the booze a long time ago, as many of my readers know. It was the best decision I could have made and if I hadn’t made that decision I might not be here to write this stuff. Don’t miss it a bit and don’t crave it a bit. I try to watch my diet and eat good stuff for the most part, though I remain a sucker for desserts. Smoking is a tough proposition. I go back and forth on this one. Not back and forth in terms of justifying it, cuz there ain’t no justification, but it’s a tough addiction and one that I have never licked completely. Anybody who sells cigarettes to minors should be shot. I don’t even say that as a joke. Oh, and i don’t use drugs.

– Sex: Still the most magical aspect of life. Thank the good Lord.


6 responses to “Time’s winged chariot do go scurrying by, or, hey ma, where did it all go?

  1. “Latchkey urgency” ~ been there before I ever turned 40. Goes hand in hand with “peanut-sized bladder syndrome.”
    Mental Acumen ~ Crosswords and suduko make me feel okay. But I’ve started fighting for words, which doesn’t please me.
    Physical stuff ~ I work out more days than I don’t, walk to the store as often as possible, and call it good. I think I’m in pretty good shape.
    Bad Habits ~ I probably like chocolate too much. Don’t drink a lot, but don’t abstain. Haven’t had a cigarette in…5 years? 6, maybe? Long enough that I feel about them the way you feel about booze.
    Sex ~ Amen, brother.

    All in all, I think we’re both okay.

  2. I think we’re both truly OK. Peanut size bladder syndrome indeed.

  3. I figure that waking up in the morning is already a victory. I’m not analyzing it any further than that – it would be too depressing.

  4. I find my age is affected by the seasons–mostly achy and sleepy in winter. Then I feel much more youthful in spring when all is bloomin’ and I can escape the humble abode. I have had those moments when I must rush to get into the home to visit the ladies room and my key always seems to be bigger than the key hole!

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