Being a casual observer of societal trends, all in the name of personal research, you understand, it has come to my attention that shorts on young females seem to be, well, shorter this year.
Trends comes and trends go and for a few years we’ve lived in a virtual wasteland of ‘baggies’ and Bermuda like garments, even on girls but this year the fashion seems to be back to tightness and anatomical emphasis. And not a moment too soon, for by the next time my blood-pressure might not be up to any sort of overstimulation.
I jest, of course. I barely notice public pulchritude. I am also left with the uneasy feeling that the upward and inward movement of shorts fabric might mean that men will also begin to embrace the trend.
Will we be having a return of dudes wanting to deck out like Tom Selleck on Magnum PI back in the day? God, I hope not, and my suggestion is that if you want to don aloha shirt and bitsy shorts, dudes, then you damn well better look just like Selleck as he did back then. Odds aren’t good.
Anyway, there could be reasons for all of this retro-visitation. And I don’t think any of it has to do with the revamping of Hawaii 5-0, which I believe on any given broadcast evening is watched by upwards of 11 viewers. Too bad that, the scenery is nice, but it doesn’t seem to have captured the pulse of society. Maybe people are missing the old one especially since they have co-opted the cool Ventures theme song with the remake. Yet, the old one boasted (if that’s the word) two of the most wooden actors in TV-dom in Jack Lord and James (“book ‘im, Danno”) MacArthur.
But, none of this has much to do with shorts and I think I’ve said all I need to about the rebirth of shorty-shorts on girls without getting lewd, and also to mention that in some countries the wearing of Bermudas by males who have also donned black socks and business shoes is a capital offense. As it should be.
Now I have an earworm of ‘Who wears short-shorts?’ stuck in my head.
And that made me think of bikinis as in itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow polka dot ones on nubile little muffins.
And that gave me an earworm of that song, which was actually considered a bit risque at the time. But, when I was in my teens virtually everything was questioned if it was deemed impure. Did you know that Annette Funicello, though she appeared in a number of execrable films with ‘bikini’ in the title never wore a true bikini because old Uncle Walt deemed it unacceptable for wanton lads to see her belly button. Chances of seeing anything else they might have wanted to see was beyond question.
But, it’s a lovely day here today and I have taken the panels out of my T-roof for the first time and was also idly musing about bikinis and shorts. I’m wearing shorts today, but not Magnum ones.