Beauty is a multi-faceted beast

lar of atttractuib,

Have you ever wondered why we’re attracted to some people and not to others? By ‘attracted’ here I am talking about romantic or even sexual attraction.

When we are unformed and callow we tend to think it’s all about physical beauty. In other words, if the individual looks sorta like the flavor of the day then he or she must be beautiful and therefore we must be attracted. And to a degree that’s true. I have met girls and women that could make me stop breathing such were the esthetics they exuded.

Yet, I have never fallen in love with a creature so ravishing as that. Not because I didn’t feel I was up to it. My self-esteem is pretty good, but because a certain chord wasn’t struck.

Elizabeth Taylor once said she was dateless in her teens because males found her too attractive and they were intimidated. Interesting. Mind you, considering her coupling history, it might have been better if males had continued to be intimidated, especially Richard Burton who had a brilliant reputation as an actor before he met lady Liz. Not so much after.

If truth be known, and why would I lie unless backed into a corner? I have fallen for a lot of females in my life. Were they all ravishing beauties? They certainly were for me at the time and that was what counted. In other words we were attracted enough to each other that all the other aspects of our beings worked splendidly.

Yet, I still maintain that what attracts us cannot be easily defined. There is so much more to the ‘whole’ person – intelligence, charm, wit, nice tits (oops, sorry, that last one just slipped in with a Freudian gusto), no, but seriously, charm, with, intelligence, a good smile and lovely laughter do so much. Add some irreverence and naughtiness and I am yours, baby. And when those conditions are met you will find that superficial appearance becomes increasingly irrelevant.

Here is an experiment you can try. Walk along a street or into a mall and espy somebody of the opposite sex (if you are heterosexual), or of the same sex if you are not, whom you deem attractive. Study that person’s face for a little while, though not long enough to get yourself arrested for harassment. Now, take a day and then picture that person’s face. I bet you get a pretty accurate rendering of them in your mind. If you have an artistic bent you could probably draw the person.

Now, try to get an accurate mental image of your nearest and dearest, the person you love more than any other. Bet you can’t do it. And the reason is that you know the ‘whole’ person and superficialities like physical appearance matter less and less as time goes by.



2 responses to “Beauty is a multi-faceted beast

  1. I am lucky to have dated some objectively gorgeous men (happen to be married to one of them now, too). I have also been lucky enough to have dated some objectively not terribly attractive men, but who were gorgeous to me because of their minds, their wit, their personalities. What I find curious is how objectively gorgeous people become so much less so when the personality doesn’t match up. For a long time, I had a celeb crush on Adam Baldwin, not objectively *gorgeous* but certainly handsome as hell. Recently, I’ve learned he’s a true ass in real life. Suddenly, he’s just not that attractive any longer.

    • Your story is a bit like mine, albeit yours is from a female perspective. Your story is a bit like mine too in that I have also been hugely attracted, including sexually to women who weren’t bandbox gorgeous but had a certain something that rendered them irresistible. In the case of my 2nd wife, who was quite beautiful, I literally couldn’t keep my hands off her, but the other deficits in our relationship ultimately turned the picture less appealing and more challenging. I have no answers for any of this and I’ll just blame it all on pheremones.

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