What’s with all the fancy watches I see advertised in Esquire Magazine?
Not the most riveting introduction but I thought starting out with a Seinfeld statement might pique your interest.
But, back to the issue at hand.
There will be pages and pages showing the faces of Rolexes, and their overpriced ilk. Why? Yet it seems that high end putzes see the watch as a symbol. Case-in-point, if you meet somebody who owns a Rolex they will try to work it into the conversation and attempt to impress me with that factoid. It won’t work, Mr. Well-dressed, upwardly-mobile, Beemer driving dork. It’s a fucking watch! A timepiece, a chronometer, a thing that most people own. I am unimpressed with what people own and am much more interested in what they have done to justify their stay on the planet. You have found a cure for ebola? Good. Get yourself a Rolex; you deserve to have one.
Otherwise, who looks at what a dude is wearing on his wrist?. I honestly never have. I’d be more impressed if you had an old-fashioned pocket watch like the ones train conductors used to use. That’d make a statement.
I, in fact, do have a ‘name’ watch. I have an Omega. A very aged Omega that still works fine. It’s a wind-up kind. And to show you how worldly I am, I actually bought it in Switzerland many years ago. Bet that makes me seem pretty sophisticated – no? Of course not. Why should it?
I’m just not a suckhole for ‘impressive’ labels. What I am a suckhole for is a bargain. For example, I have a Seiko (impressed yet? I thought not). In fact I have two Seikos (doubly-impressed? Likely still not). Both of the watches were gifts; one from an ex-wife and one from my dad. Was I thrilled to receive them? Not greatly. Watches just don’t excite me. They fulfil a function. I mean no disrespect to the bestowers and in the case of the one from my dad, it likely means a bit more since he has gone now.
Both are battery operated. That’s a good thing. Except when the battery runs out. And the battery is designed to run out when the watch is on my wrist and I am vacationing far from home. This has happened to me four times. It happened again when we were in Hawaii just recently.
So, did I rush out when the watch stopped and get myself a Rolex.
Nope, I headed to Wal-Mart in Kailua and I bought myself a dandy little timepiece for $10. The watch has since been known as the ten-dollar watch. I haven’t yet got the battery replaced in the Seiko so I am wearing my ten-dollar watch right now.
If you happen upon me I’ll show it to you. You’re bound to be impressed and inclined to tell your friends how you have a friend with a ten-dollar watch.