Don’t mean to give you a ‘bum’ steer here but the world is falling to pieces two orbs at a time

All_is_Vanity_by_subliculous1

I think we are on the verge of gotterdammerung. That’s right, pilgrims, the Twilight of the Gods, or the world is rapidly coming to an end and perhaps not a moment too soon.

We have environmental chaos, climate change, the murder of honeybees, a relatively small number of overprivileged fucks hoarding the bigbigbig bucks while a much larger number is being forced to subsist on pennies and people are arrested for giving nosh to the homeless.

And then to cap the whole thing off and fill me with a sense of hopelessness was reading an article noting how beach babes in trendy resorts are getting themselves bum implants. It seems like the sui generis posterior of a sometime actress called J-Lo started a trend that led to many of the girls of otherwise limited scope wanting to ape the trend, including creatures known as Kardashians and the like.jlo

And the cursed lady is she without clearly defined and robust cheeks. If you are flat in the kiester you are hooped in such beach spots as Miami if you are not filling out your bitsy bikini bottom with global hemispheres. So, why not put silicone to work to puff up the posterior. Enhanced boobs, it seems, is now declasse, but a wet-dream evoking butt will mean you have arrived.

Now, don’t get me wrong about this issue. I admire a well-turned out hiney as much as, or possibly even more than some do. Walk by in a pair of tight white slacks or shorts and you will, ahem, have my attention. I am only human in that regard. And I have read my Desmond Morris and happen to know the bum has always been a huge erogenous attractant throughout the history of the species. The fetish over breasts came about much later in human history.  And I might mention that gluteal pulchritude is especially delightful to me and others of my generation who grew up in the era of the battlements of pantigirdles when ‘nice girls’ definted their buttocks not at all.

And now it seems that science and silicone can give you what God neglected to. Indeed, all is vanity, as stated in Ecclesiastes. Gives an entirely new meaning to the expression ‘tightass’.

And at the end of the day while life is getting brighter for flagrant fanny fetishists the rest of us just plod on and accept reality for what it is. By the way I mean ‘fanny’ in the North American sense. For the English it is a cleft of an entirely other (and naughtier) bit of anatomical geography.

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4 responses to “Don’t mean to give you a ‘bum’ steer here but the world is falling to pieces two orbs at a time

  1. I saw a young woman the other day with those kind of buttocks and thought the poor thing was disfigured! Thanks for the “education”! 🙂

  2. Well hell, if boobs are out and butts are in I guess I’m star material!

  3. We aim to please darlin’ Happy to accommodate. Since I love a fine bum then it all works for me.

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