So just how frivolous are we in choosing our life partners?

sexy bride

Have you ever spied somebody new and thought immediately, I’d really like to marry that person whom I know absolutely nothing about but really like the cut of her/his jib?

I have. Often.

We like to think the rules of attraction are complex and deeply rooted in the human psyche and not impacted by frivolous considerations like: “Nice tits.” Ladies, please use whatever male equivalent physical attractant you choose for what strikes you as an instant allure for a new life partner. I’m not about to presume.

In fact, when women have periodically told me about some feature they find attractive in a man I tend to think, ‘really? Who would have thought that? Not any male of my acquaintance for sure.’ That’s just one reason why we’re all so screwed up sexually. That and about 30,000 other lacks of understanding.

Anyway, this morning I’m at a drugstore in the mall and a woman comes in and she is, to state the case as delicately as I can, stacked like gangbusters. Now I’m not particularly a breast fetishist, but hers were so outree that I could barely avoid the impulse to stroll over and say: “Hello, I couldn’t help but notice you and even though I’m married I could get divorced and marry you. OK? And if you are married you could do the same.”

Now I am just funning, of course, I am really quite happily hitched, but I honestly suspect people are more facile than we give them credit for. I mean, think about it, people develop passions, and even physical sexual sensations in terms of arousal over movie and TV stars, and singers. Just ask Deborah Harry if I haven’t had carnal thoughts about her. She knows I have. She knows because she and I are psychically connected.

Well, of course we’re not because I don’t believe in that shit, but make sure you lock your doors at night because there are those who do.

But, in terms of choice of life-partner how deep really are our processes in taking that trip to the altar? How well do we truly know our intended? Would you be just as satisfied with an arranged marriage to a stranger, as is done with some cultures? Surprisingly, statistics suggest that you would. mrs apu

We buy cars, stereos, houses, electronic junk and other things on impulse. How about somebody who is to share bed, board, and genitals? Considering the contemporary divorce rate we cannot help but wonder at the frivolous motivations of people as they choose a life partner. I do know from experience, however, that it all has nothing to do with secondary sexual traits and everything to do with love, commitment and honesty. As a veteran of three marriages and a few relationships I can attest to that.


6 responses to “So just how frivolous are we in choosing our life partners?

  1. Someone once told me that there are people in the world who only get one true partner…I may be one of them. Perhaps you were lucky or just a risk-taker to have tried three times and hopefully finally succeeded.

    The mysteries of love…

  2. I told my husband (rest his soul) that I wanted to be engaged for 1 year to be sure we would work together. He counted from the day he proposed to pick the date for our wedding!! He was my soul mate.
    But I do believe we can love others and love deeply more than once. I can say that I love 2 others in my life (prior to marriage) and still fondly remember those two. Yet all 3 men I loved dearly were so different from each other. Sometimes I ponder how my life might have been different should I have made a different choice. I was very happy though for many of the years I had with my husband, and the challenging ones during the last 7 years of his life as he struggled with disabilities and dementia were a test of me, my spirit and my way of handling what comes. I passed.

  3. I didn’t know my Sweets all that much when we got married. Thankfully though, he grew on me, and the more I discovered, the more I liked (and loved) him. If I were to do it again at my age now, I’m not sure I’d be as impulsive, and I think that would probably be too bad.

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