Now I am a very tolerant fellow and I make a lot of exceptions for the chosen lifestyles of others. Straight or gay? None of my business. Choose to ingest questionable substances? Well, as long as you’re not hurting others. Weird and kinky sexual practices? OK, again as long as nobody is hurt, and if it’s really frolicsome, tell me about it. I’m broad-minded in that regard. Weird and unorthodox religious beliefs? Whatever gets you through the night I say, and others have said.
But I do make one exception. That is in regards to the so-called ‘man-bun’. It is disgusting, looks asinine and I have no tolerance for a stubble-faced male trying to ape the hair style of an Edwardian lady.
In my day I have lived through not a few tonsorial eras for males. I haven’t liked all equally but I have tolerated them with equanimity. In my own case, and blessedly I still have my hair, I have been through some hair transitions of my own. In my teens it was the golden era of Brylcreem and other such gooey concoctions in which red-blooded lads strove to look like Tony Curtis and Rory Calhoun greaseballs and left pillow slips perpetually stained, much to the consternation of mothers everywhere. I’d have to get up early in the morning to get my ‘waterfall’ pompadour just so. It was important.
And then, jumping ahead a few years it was long hippie hair – and it you go out to the islands you can still see it in full proliferation. I never had mine quite that long, but it was ‘longish’ and hung to my shoulders, and of course not a spot of grease was ever applied.
In recent years I have opted for a short style. The lack of energy of later years may have something to do with it. I get it cut to virtually crew-cut length and then and go and visit pretty Cindy after a month or so has elapsed and she sets it right. And in the morning, just out of the shower I run brush through it. Instantly set for the day.
There have been other style trends I have not opted for. Punk ‘spikes’ make for some interesting statements and I saw a lot of them when I lived in England in the early 1980s. All I wondered in a few cases was how did they sleep? Contemporary to the punk stylings were the skinhead shavings, which speaks for itself. Usually nasty little right-wing assholes of the sort who stateside would be Trump constituents.
Oh, and speaking of skinheads, there is currently a trend for baldish or balding men to shave their pates. As I said, I still have my own hair so I won’t be opting for the Yul Brynner approach.
But the ‘Man Bun’. Here I draw the tolerance line. I do not plan to get one and I hope their vogue passes quickly. I just don’t like the look, and I am entitled to dislike it. It’s unasethetic and stupid and I want it to be eradicated. I mean, yeah, Jeff Bridges can do it. But he’s Jeff Bridges. You’re not. Nobody else is Jeff Bridges cool, so suck it up.
But, if you have one, it won’t mean I’ll dislike you. As I said at the beginning, I am very tolerant. Just damn well get rid of it and get a proper haircut.