Words of wisdom to fill in a few gaps in your lexicon

vulva

A few years ago the Washington Post ran an item concerning a contest in which readers were called upon to supply alternative meanings for common words. As follows are the winning entries:

Coffee (n)the person upon whom one coughs

Flabbergasted (adj)appalled by how much weight one has gained. Especially appropriate this time of year

Abdicate (v)give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. (see ‘this time of year’)proctologist

Esplanade (v)to attempt an explanation while drunk

Willy-nilly (adj)impotent

Negligent (adj)answering the door when only wearing a filmy nightgown

Lymph (v)to walk with a lisp

Gargoyle (n)olive flavored mouthwash

Balderdash (n)rapidly declining hairline

Testicle (n)a humorous question on an exam

Pokemon (n)a Rastafarian proctologist

Oyster (n)a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

Keeping in the spirit of the contest, I’ve coined a couple of my own. They are:

Ambivalence (n)an emergency vehicle operated EMTs who really don’t give a damn

Vulvo (n)a very sexy new Swedish car model

Lipschitz: Foul mouthedness



Please feel free to include any of your own. I’d love to read them.

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4 responses to “Words of wisdom to fill in a few gaps in your lexicon

  1. roselefebvre24@comcast.net

    So Funny! Thank you for giving me a good laugh. I needed that since I have been ill for a week and feeling rather glum between that and the horrible weather we are having.

  2. I remember seeing this contest before. Lovr it!

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