So how would a gender switcheroo work for you?

peeingA female friend and I once had a very interesting discussion about sex. No, not about ‘doing it’ kind of sex – that sort of chat can get you into no end of trouble – but more about the lives of the two sexes as far as it pertained to the differences between the two – both vive and not so vive.

She believed it would be appropriate, albeit impossible, if we were about to switch genders – just for a while, not the whole transgender thing. Maybe once in a lifetime, she thought. And after we’d made the switch, we could then revert to our original gender.

She felt such a feat would be brilliant in not only ridding each sex of a great deal of misunderstanding about the other, but would also build up a huge empathy that we’d never lose.

She also thought it would be fun.

About a week, she felt, would do the trick. Not any special week, just an ordinary week in one’s life in which we would become our opposite number and be as a member of the half of the population we spend a great deal of time with, but never truly understand.

She meant, of course, a complete transformation, not just dressing in drag. In other words, guys, you wouldn’t just get to wear panties (provided you don’t already do that – now be honest) but you would have all the plumbing fixtures that rest in those panties. And you know, breasts may be awfully cute, but sometimes they’re bothersome to the owners. You may like them big, but ask a ‘big’ girl how enjoyable they are by the end of a long day.

If this were to happen, I thought, would women finally understand that it is just as logical to leave the seat up as it is to put it down?

Once that burning issue was out of the way, we might then deal with certain other traits of gender specificity.

She attested that no matter how feminist in sensibilities a male might consider himself to be, he would have no idea of the rigors of PMS unless he were to actually go through it. And Menopause? Land sakes, welcome to the middle-aged female’s nightmare.

On the other hand, it might be apt for the woman to don jockey shorts on a week that a prostate exam had been scheduled. Of course the woman need only counter with the old feet-in-the-stirrups issues, or a mammography, about which, and I’ve said this before, guys go with your wife or girlfriend (not at the same time) for one of those procedures and you will really treat her with respect that verges on awe.

But, enough of the nastier aspects of being what we are. There are day-to-day issues that might just prove to be challenging.

Men: We may fantasize about how swell it would be to have somebody regularly come on to us in a frank and honest manner. Yeah, but only if the person was of your choice. So, let’s say instead it isn’t a mysterious fantasy figure but somebody who has career power over us.

Furthermore, as males we have rarely suffered the fear that a female of superior size and strength might overpower us. If we pass a member of the opposite sex of slight acquaintance on a dark street she offers us no physical threat. Our physical threats are made by our own sex.

  • We have rarely been – there are some exceptions – physically abused by a spouse and left with no recourse other than departure and ultimate poverty.

  • We rarely have to plan meals, cook them and then serve them on a regular basis. Weekend barbecuing doesn’t count.

  • We do not have to spend nine months swelling, losing our physiques, undergoing major hormonal fluctuations, dealing with cranky and unreliable bladder control, forming varicose veins and stretch marks, etc. etc. For the sake of producing that (hoped for by he spouse) son and heir. No boys, you just get to be there at the end when all the nastiness has been seen to.

Women: You are not expected to keep your overt emotions in check to the degree that men are expected to. You want to cry, then bawl your eyes out. People still get uncomfortable when men cry.

  • You do not need to steel your reserves of courage to invite somebody you fancy out, and risk suffering rejection.

  • You really don’t need to be good at sports.

  • You have a closer relationship with your parents most times. There is a gender bonding with your mother and a protective aspect to your paternal relationship.

  • You don’t need to be ‘in the mood’ for intimacy to happen. It may not be the best encounter but you can certainly do it. For a male, being in the mood is kinda essential. Hence, you don’t really need to suffer performance anxiety.

But, if I reached any conclusion about all of this, it would be that Adam was only God’s practice run. Eve came about after he’d perfected his technique. That’s mainly evidence by the fact that males with all their limitations are really only valuable in the siring capacity. After that the girls can get along just fine.

I don’t really mind that because I am rather fond of females and all their ‘mysterious’ elements.



4 responses to “So how would a gender switcheroo work for you?

  1. I once went to a “Bad Taste in Drag” party. It was a hoot – everyone really got into the ‘change’ – not just in dress. It was immediately apparent which traits of the opposite sex were the most bothersome. These were the ones that came to the fore. I remember watching the ‘guys’ speaking inappropriately to the ‘gals’, the ‘gals’ expecting doors to be opened or cigarettes (this was the ’70s!) to be lit. There were many more but those stand out in my memory. Not just fun, but a learning experience!!

  2. I’ve always thought it would be a great experience (and to be honest, it must be wonderful to experience an orgasm from the other side). Anyway, it’s unfortunate that it can’t be done. As to the toilet seat, i never did understand the issue. The toilet seat? It ain’t rocket science.

    • Yes I too have wondered about girly orgasms and would love to experience one. The toilet seat issue, meh. I don’t get it. When I’ve taken a pee I always put it down. We should compare orgasm notes sometime.

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