There are big ships and small ships etc. etc.

friendshipMost friendship is feigning;

Most loving mere folly.

Shakespeare, As You Like It

There is a dichotomy between a friendship and a love relationship, it is believed. About that I am not entirely certain. In a love relationship there is of course sex, nakedness and assorted secretions. Therein lies a difference from friendship.

But in both there is emotion. In that, friendship love and sexual love are similar . It’s all just a matter of degree. I have some very intense friendships with females and, yes, there is a sexual component to such friendships. But since I am a faithful guy, that component isn’t permitted to segue into the situation as tempting as it might be.

I also have female friendships that are not sexually enticing but they are every bit as valuable.

And male friendships can be equally loving though, in my case, since I am straight, never sexual. But the feelings in those situations are just as deep as they would be with a lover. I only have a couple of such friendships now, but I cherish them. I had a couple of further ones that were rent asunder due to the untimely deaths of said friends. Those incidents shook me to my core and have never left.

So, there is no doubt in my mind that ‘love’ is as big a component in a friendship as it is in a sexual relationship.

And if a friendship goes south, especially if it goes south inexplicably, then the pain can be virtually as great as it is with the demise of a marriage or a sexual relationship. I have one such. A person with whom I had a strong tie and thought the world of. We were not lovers nor ever courted the idea. Just really good boy and girl friends who seemingly understood each other well. I valued it. By this point I am unsure as to her view in the matter.

After a few years she ceased being available. Made excuses to avoid my company or to not return calls. Finally I got to the point of well, ‘fuck her’. But, of course my mind went to what I might have done to earn her opprobrium. I have no idea and by this point I have no interest in exploring the matter further. I only think that if I had done something to offend, then I am sorry.



5 responses to “There are big ships and small ships etc. etc.

  1. Sorry to hear your friend ceased being available. That’s hard!

  2. I had a couple of so-called friends like that…Over time, I came to realize that whatever decisions they made were more about them than me, and I’m fine with that.

  3. Friendship breakups can be as hard as the other kind. I have “left” friends and also been left, and sometimes it’s the only thing to do when we grow in different directions – just as with any relationship. There is one friend, however that I broke up with – due to circumstances way to convoluted and personal to explain here – and still miss terribly. I’ll probably miss her forever…

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