So, am I going to Hell, or what? Maybe, depending on how I come out here, I might just get to go to Heck.
Anyway, because of something I wrote on Facebook a while ago a friend, and one whose opinion I value, suggested a comment of mine sounded a bit like envy. She quickly pointed out that envy was one of the Seven Deadly (Mortal) Sins.
Oopsie! Sorry, God.
This only put me to thinking about that septumburate (is that a word? Well, it is now) of badness and I think I might just assess to see how I fare and what my chances are when they close that proverbial lid on me. I think I’m mainly OK, but a fellow never knows. You know, will I spend eternity smelling lilacs or brimstone?
So, running through the list we have (in no particular order):
Gluttony: I think I’m basically OK here. I did pack on a little extra avoirdupois a few years ago, but then I dieted and knocked it off and have kept most of it off. I don’t really have much of a food fetish and I rarely overeat these days. I love desserts (which is either a sin, or should be) but otherwise I’m good. Certainly worth a B.
Greed: Sort of like gluttony for me. I’ve never been terribly acquisitive and things remain ‘things’ and not entirely soul fulfilling. I mean, in idle moments I have wanted to date (or more) every female I’ve ever fancied, but that moves into another realm of sin. But, otherwise, I have a nice house in a good neighborhood, a nice (albeit old) vehicle) and have traveled fairly extensively, and other than wanting more travel, there isn’t anything in the way of stuff I want. A good and solid B.
Sloth: OK, Lord, I admit I can be a slackass and not want to move when the situation warrants it. And I tend to procrastinate like mad. But, you know, eventfully I get it done. I have never missed a deadline and have always shown up on time for a job so I don’t think I’m entirely a slug. I think I get maybe a C-plus in this category. I hope God looks at an aggregate score.
Wrath: Yeah, yeah, I get pissed at times, but I don’t think I’m wrathful. I keep my temper in check except sometimes when I’m driving or when I read of shenanigans by politicians – any politicians anywhere at any level of government. They are the scourge of humanity. But, I don’t run around yelling and fulminating for the most part. I think I’d even give myself a B here.
Envy: That was the one my friend nailed me for. But, I protested. Some might say too much, but I don’t think anyone can ever protest too much if it covers a body’s ass. But, as I told her, I honestly believe that no matter what good stuff another might have, they also have bad things in their lives. Life being what it is, and all. My life is pretty decent and I want for little and in that I’m blessed. So, I think on the envy front I’m gonna give myself a big B-plus. I didn’t say ‘A’ because I don’t think God believes in giving As. That would indicate perfection and we mere mortals are only ‘perfectible’. I think only God’s kid gets the top grade. That’s what happens when you have connectedness.
Pride: This is one I debate within myself because I don’t think it’s necessarily a sin. I don’t mean to be presumptuous and second-guess God, but if we didn’t take pride in what we do, why would be bother doing it? I just can’t see being proud of attainment as being a sin. Now, being a smug bastard, that’s different and God should always smite smug bastards. Otherwise, the Big Fellow gave me some talents and I rather think he expects me to use them to good avail. And I don’t go around bragging about what I do, so I think that should let me off the hook. In this category I at least get a B, I am sure.
Lust: Oops. Here comes the tough one. Like Jimmy Carter I have indeed lusted in my heart. I’ve lusted in some other bits, too. In fact, and I lay my mortal soul bare here, like Jimmy Swaggart, I have in fact ‘sinned’. But, as that same friend who mentioned about the envy thing, said about lust: Why is lust condemned yet there is no mention of rape as a sin? Well worthy of consideration, methinks. So, if a certain female gives me unmentionable thoughts about booty calls, etc. I have sinned even if I don’t act on the urge. But if I take her violently somehow that’s OK? Doesn’t work for me. Anyway, if lust I so bad, how is the species to be propagated? I mean, let’s face it, there has to be a teeny bit of lust for a couple to want to propagate, no? I guess we maybe weren’t meant to use that lust frivolously. So, yes, I have violated this one I won’t say how many times – today. So, I maybe don’t stand in good stead here. But, as I also mentioned that I think the tally for sins is possibly an aggregate score so my F-minus score in this one just might be canceled out. Either that is the case or an awful lot of pillars of the church are hooped for eternity.