No Judge Judy was she, and Dudley Do-Right would be mortified

“Cha-chung!”

The wheels of justice grind slow but exceedingly fine – and exceedingly randy, it seems, in light of a couple of recent Canadian revelations.

Oh, for heaven’s sake, is it something to do with the Canadian climate that the people in charge of our behavior are misbehaving so badly? Two “shocking” — I tell ya — news stories ripped from the pages of the National Enquirer (under normal circumstances) have become mainstream front-page news of the sort that should make you want to shield the eyes of the tiny tots. That is if tiny tots were to actually read a newspaper, which is highly unlikely.

In the first case a prominent Manitoba judge has a husband who allegedly posted on the Internet nude photos of ‘her worship’ in bondage gear engaging in oral sex. Not surprisingly she has been ‘temporarily’ suspended from her judicial duties. One Lori Douglas (pictured, from a National Post photo, and no I didn’t check out any of the dirty ones), associate chief justice of the Manitoba Court of Queen’s Bench Family Division has become the pivotal point of a scandal following reports that she is the subject of at least 30 sexually explicit photos posted online. 

Must be something about that prairie air because it does get very cold in winter so people are inclined to seek their own heat, I guess. Anyway, it all came about due to the complaint of a former client who claimed that Judge Lori’s husband (also a lawyer) encouraged him (a black Trinidadian) to visit the berobed missus on a website that depicts sex between black men and white women. Evidently he was encouraged to link up with the good judge for major hanky-panky.

Not rushing to judgment, but somehow I don’t think voyeuristic hubby made the suggestion in a spirit of multiculturalism.

So, needless to say lawsuits are ‘pending’ between the complainant and the good judge and spouse, who was said to be suffering from “depression” at the time he made the suggestion. Well, if he wasn’t then, we can assume he truly is now.

In the other matter, one that would put both Dudley Do-Right and Sgt. Preston to shame, three officers of the RCMP in the interior BC town of Kamloops are under investigation and have been suspended after having been accused to watching to women have sex in a jail cell.

In the matter, two women had been arrested for causing a disturbance and being drunk in public and were detained in the same cell. The women evidently began to engage in mutually consensual sexual activity. Meanwhile, it has been alleged that two stalwart men of the red serge tunics as well as a couple of guards watched the two women ‘go at it’ (I believe is the legal terminology) for approximately seven minutes before they intervened.

Any final judgment in the matter is pending, but it’s assuredly not the sort of incident that will spiff up the already egregiously tarnished image of a once proud force.

So, remember kids, do what we say but definitely do not do what we do.